These are the type of questions that roll around in my head, and probably many other peoples heads. Its not a uncommon thought, not at all. I have been there, and I know how it feels. The feeling like there is no one that cares and that they are better off without you. This is NOT true.
Even how terrible everything feels, is there always something that can bring you up, and make you a bit more happier.It may sound like nothing important, or that it doesn't hear like something that concerns you. That nobody loves you, and no one cares.
I wont say I am the strong, independent woman who can take all the bullshit. I am most certainly not.
I have been bullied from I was in 4 grade, mostly about my size and weight. And this continued during 5., 6., 7., 8., 9., 10. class, and further.
This is something that has destroyed me as a person. I have become a smile with a big, dark hole inside. I was also abused as a child, no doubt that has effected me.
I go to a therapist about once a week, and she is very understanding. But its not always better to talk to someone professional. I feel its hard.
But of course, someone thinks its easier. But I don´t, I think its easier to talk to my best friends. They have helped me through a lot. I don't know how many times they have had to pull me up, and tell me how much I care. And sometimes I find it hard to believe. Believe that someone can love someone like me.
I have also cut myself...
And I'm depressed...
Everyday I go around thinking: Where the fuck is the blade...
But i have learned not to always follow my "needs".
I guess what I'm trying to say here is.
Everybody has someone who loves them, and even how dark it seems, there is always someone.
Suicide is not the way to go.
We have to stick together...
(if you want to talk, or get to know me, don´ t hesitate of contacting me)
LOVE <3>
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5e3nm_your-favorite-enemies-open-your-eye_music
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