Ut i krigen

Am I worth anything?

Am I worth anything? Does anybody love me? Is the world a better place without me? Do I have reason to hate myself? These are the type of questions that roll around in my head, and probably many other peoples heads. Its not a uncommon thought, not at all. I have been there, and I know how it feels. The feeling like there is no one that cares and that they are better off without you. This is NOT true.
Even how terrible everything feels, is there always something that can bring you up, and make you a bit more happier.It may sound like nothing important, or that it doesn't hear like something that concerns you. That nobody loves you, and no one cares.
I wont say I am the strong, independent woman who can take all the bullshit. I am most certainly not.
I have been bullied from I was in 4 grade, mostly about my size and weight. And this continued during 5., 6., 7., 8., 9., 10. class, and further.
This is something that has destroyed me as a person. I have become a smile with a big, dark hole inside. I was also abused as a child, no doubt that has effected me.
I go to a therapist about once a week, and she is very understanding. But its not always better to talk to someone professional. I feel its hard.
But of course, someone thinks its easier. But I don´t, I think its easier to talk to my best friends. They have helped me through a lot. I don't know how many times they have had to pull me up, and tell me how much I care. And sometimes I find it hard to believe. Believe that someone can love someone like me.
I have also cut myself...
And I'm depressed...
Everyday I go around thinking: Where the fuck is the blade...But i have learned not to always follow my "needs".

I guess what I'm trying to say here is.
Everybody has someone who loves them, and even how dark it seems, there is always someone.
Suicide is not the way to go.

We have to stick together...

(if you want to talk, or get to know me, don´ t hesitate of contacting me)

LOVE <3>

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5e3nm_your-favorite-enemies-open-your-eye_music

Just because you are you

I like you just as you are

You don’t have to change anything for me

Cause I like you just as you are

I can trust you with all of my deepest secrets

And you won’t judge me at any point

And you won’t tell anyone

The reason that I tell you my secrets

Is because I trust you completely

And I can’t think how it would be without you

I love YOU

Bullied...

I got bullied cause of my size and cloths, and other things. I got depressed (which I still am), and I even though of suicide, because I was so low on self esteem. Now I'm a little better, but I cant stop thinking of my esteem. Its nothing I brag about, I just think that its important for those who are/have been bullied that they know that there is someone there who is trying to help, and who has been at the exact same spot, and knows how terrible it is. I won´t say am strong, but I've learned not to be so weak as I was.

I still get bullied, and I hate it, and it still effect me. But I'm in the process of learning how to cope with it, and make it stop. So I think is what I'm trying to say is that even how weak you are, or how little worth you are, you still mean a hell of a lot to someone. I know, and I've learned who my true friends are :D

Open Your Eyes Lyrics

Between suicides and all your dirty lies
Are you looking sad for girls
Are you looking back for sympathy
So are you looking sad for girls

It's getting hard to say open your eyes
Needles haven't fixed anything
It's getting hard to say open your eyes

I guess we're millions of faces
Waiting somewhere for somebody else's place
To feel like home
I guess we're millions of faces (millions of faces)
Waiting somewhere for somebody else's place
To feel like home

Love is a refuge with fears and doubts
It's the Jesus on your necklace
Love is a silence to your cry outs
The sleepest hideout

Lies is a refuge with fears and doubts
It's the Jesus on your necklace
Lie is a silence to your cry outs
The cheapest the fabulous

Between suicides and secrets that you like
Are you felling pay my births
Are you getting browse for misery
So why you feeling pay my births

It's getting hard to say open your eyes
Needles haven't fixed anything
It's getting hard to say open your eyes

I guess we're millions of faces
Waiting somewhere for somebody else´s place
To feel like home
I guess we're millions of faces (millions of faces)
Waiting somewhere for somebody else's place
To feel like home

Love is a refuge with fears and doubts
It's the Jesus on your necklace
Love is a silence to your cry outs
The sleepest hideout

Lie is a refuge with fears and doubts
It's the Jesus on your necklace
Love is a silence to your cry outs
The cheapest the fabulous

There is the same

Are you looking sad for girls, are you?
Are you looking back for sympathy (There is the same)
Are you feeling pay my births, are you?
Are you getting browse for misery? (There is the same)

I guess we're millions of faces

Waiting somewhere for somebody eslses place
To feel like home
We're millions of faces
Waiting somewhere for somebody eslses place
To feel like home

Love is a refuge with fears and doubts
It's the Jesus on your necklace
Love is a silence to your cry outs
The sleepest hideout

Lies is a refuge with fears and doubts
It's the Jesus on your necklace
Lie is a silence to your cry outs
The cheapest the fabulous

Between suicides and all your dirty lies
Are you feeling pay my births
Are you getting browse for misery

Open your eyes

Mr. Awesome!

I don't know if that a word. Well, now it is.
I bet you all want to know what the fuck I'm going to talk about, and what is so damn awesome that it deserved a headline?
Come on! Guess! I bet you will never make it!
Hah! Gotcha!
Well...I'm gonna tell you. His name is Jeff Beaulieu. He is AWESOME! He is the rhythm guitarist in the band "Your Favorite Enemies". Which is AWESOME! :D hehe
Jeff, he is a cool, and down to earth kinda guy. There are not many of them left, those down-to-earth-kinda-guys.
I don't know if Jeff will read this blog-entrance about him, but ey, I can hope.
Well, he is as I told you a rhythm guitarist, and he is awesome.
And what's shocking me is that this great guy, doesn't have a Wikipedia site. That´s sad. Or for the record, neither of the members in Your Favorite Enemies have... Which is also sad.

Someone got to do something about that!

And here is a few pictures of Jeff and the band :D
AWESOME!

Tattoos

Yes, its been quite a long time since I last wrote anything here. And as you may see, I'm also writing in English. Which I'm not used to, so sorry if one or two posts are in Norwegian.
Well well, what shall I write.
I can talk about tattoos :D that's fun.

Well, I have been thinking a lot about getting a tattoo, or more. But I don't have the money...so Ill have to wait.

There are so many tattoos I want. I want at least 4 or 5. I want to be like Kat von D. <3 AWESOME! :D
As I said, I want tattoos.
Something like these ones.








This one is just awesome!









And this on my wrist <3>